ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
