Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
