My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
