How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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