This girl is more easily done than said...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
