Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was a lot of him and a little penis
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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