im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
