I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
