his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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