I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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