were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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