you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
