I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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