just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
