she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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