two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
