Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
