I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
should my penis look like a turkey
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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