Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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