You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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