the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My breasts were aching with rage.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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