I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
