Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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