So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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