I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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