Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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