Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hippo gnu deer
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
