If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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