Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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