his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
