Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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