Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
