Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
