just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
