honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
