Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
