Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
