There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
