8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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