It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
