To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
