So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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