On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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