roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
