so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Four minutes until I can fart!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
