Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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