are you still at the devil's house?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
