the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
