First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
