Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
