Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize