'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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