And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
