Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
